What is Said | What is Meant! |
While on routine patrol... | I was in the car because the coffee shop was closed. |
The motorist was operating his vehicle in a reckless manner | He had a bumper sticker that said "SLOW DOWN-DON'T FEED THE PIGS" |
The accident scene and the safety of the victims prevented this officer from doing traffic control | It was raining. |
This officer went out-of-service to obtain intelligence information from a street informant. | It was too hot to ride in the car. |
I observed the suspect acting in a suspicious manner... | The dirt-bag let go with an "Oink" as I walked by. |
Knowing the suspect had a criminal history... | He puked on my uniform one night... |
The informant is of known credibility and has provided reliable information in the past... | I've got two theft cases hanging over his head... |
While being arrested, this subject resisted being injured in the act... | He ripped my shirt and broke my new mirror sunglasses... |
The motorist was cited for multiple traffic violations... | I wrote one citation for each swear-word he used... |
Upon announcing my title and purpose, I heard a voice from inside the house say"Come in" so this writer entered through the door... | The rock music was so loud they wouldn't have heard Patton's army so I kicked in the door. |
The members of the press at the scene were offered every courtesy within departmental policies... | I sent then to a non-existent address which I called the "Command Post". |
I gave the motorist a verbal warning for speeding... | She was a good-looking blonde who owned a liquor store and who was free after my shift was over. |
The Chief appeared at the scene and took command... | I sent him to the same address as the reporters. |
Further interview of the witness was impossible, due to conditions. | It was my bowling night... |
The motorist eyes were glassy, he had slurred speech , was unsteady on his feet, and smelled strongly of an alcoholic beverage. | He was howling at the moon and trying to drive the car from the back seat. |
Using only enough force to restrain the subject... | My favorite song is "Dropkick me Jesus Through the Goal Post of Life" |
The defendant asked this officer's advice on how to act before the judge at his arraignment... | I told him he didn't have the balls to cal
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