With a Little Help from Our Friends!
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up.
And What Was Plan B?
An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to
drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his
own bank accounts...
The Getaway
A man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas, Kwik Shop and asked for all the money in the cash
drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for
three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
Did I Say That?!
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control
himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your
money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
Ouch, That Smarts!
A bank robber in Virginia Beach got a nasty surprise when a dye pack designed to mark stolen money exploded in his underwear. The robber apparently stuffed the loot down the front of his pants as he was running out the door. "He was seen hopping and jumping around," said police spokesman Mike Carey. Police have the man's charred trousers in custody.
Have I Got a Deal for You!
More than 600 people in Italy wanted to ride in a spaceship badly enough to pay $10,000 a piece for the first tourist flight to Mars. According to the Italian police, the would-be space travelers
were told to spend their "next vacation on Mars, amid the splendors of ruined temples and painted deserts. Ride
a Martian camel from oasis to oasis and enjoy the incredible Martian sunsets. Explore mysterious canals and
marvel at the views. Trips to the moon also available." Authorities believe that the con men running this scam
made off with over six million dollars.
And These Nitwits Are Teaching Our Children?!!
A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day suspension under his elementary school's drug
policy last week - for Certs! Joey Hoeffer allegedly told a classmate that the mints would make him "jump
higher."
And a student in Belle, West Virginia, was suspended for three days for giving a classmate a cough drop.
School principal Forest Mann reiterated the school's "zero-tolerance" policy.
Are We Not Communicating?
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"
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