Are you terrified of your computer? Do you feel out of place and overwhelmed when your friends or coworkers start spouting reams of technical jargon that you will never understand? Then this article is for you and will help you to get over your fear of technical terminology.
State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete - Any computer you own.
Microsecond - The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
Syntax Error - Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.
GUI (pronounced gooey) - What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it.
Keyboard - The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse - An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Hard Drive - The sales technique employed by computer salesmen.
Portable Computer - A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
Disk Crash - A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
Power User - Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
System Update - A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.